Inner struggles

I stole this off some old man named John's blog:

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Answered alot of my questions.....

Maturity...

So I'm having this discussion on maturity with a friend...was actually thinking about it on my way to work this morning... What the fuck is maturity anyway? There is a very fine line between mature, funny, irresponsible and just being a freak.

At 33 (2months away from 34) I still find myself doing shit like riding bicycles with my kids, going skinny dipping in the ocean...naked....at night.... Listening to music really loud in my car. Pulling random dance moves at work, challenging my son to see who does the moonwalk the best, tap dancing on my "stoep", getting drunk - sitting on the pavement eating dry bread and chicken (bring back memories Neilie? ha ha). Laughing my ass off at random shit....blah blah blah..

So living life to its fullest....does that make me immature or just fun?

My trail of thoughts at this present moment...

So this is my first post and here i sit arguing with myself about what the first post should be about... Love, Life, Satan, friends, my kids.... So I've decided to write about my trail of thoughts.. Who in their right mind spends the day talking to themselves in their mind.. (Can someone answer that fucking phone!!!!).. I'm so sick of this fucking office and the fact that people blatantly ignore their phones ringing even though they are sitting at their desks staring into oblivion, probably hoping the phone fairy is gonna miraculously appear and take the call... Fuck now I've lost my trail of thought... (ANSWER THAT FUCKING PHONE!!!)

Anyway... the phone fairy has let me down and I'm a little irritated at the moment, but besides that i think i will survive this day..Why did i put peanut butter on my bread today when i feel like eating bovril?

I keep finding my mind wondering out the door, down the street, straight to a certain man i think i have the hots for... Wow i just cant help but smile when i think of the way his eyes light up when he looks at me and smiles... (continue my thoughts with precaution now!!! slow down Doret). Wish i was sitting on the beach with him, just talking... O shit look at the wind.. Beach is maybe not such a good idea. And besides reality is I'm stuck in the office..whats for supper tonight.. I hope Jaun washes the dishes. Little bastard wants to get paid for working in the house but i end up doing everything, nice surprise of Rand Zero for him at the end of the month.. Hope Usher is not making plans to rob my house now that i fired her ass... Why was she in the area? (that mother F*cking phone again!!!)

Nice guy i met from India on facebook. Seems to good to be true..but he's Scorpio like me so its understandable.. he he

I'm bored.......